Current issues

Knowing we have another meeting around Freya's 3rd birthday I have been trying to make mental notes of her current behaviour issues.
I have a great memory for useless things like postcodes and phone numbers but when put on the spot I usually have a brain melt down and end up rambling irrelevant rubbish so I thought I'd try and note stuff down in my blogs and then I can refer back to it.
In the last week I have noticed every time there's a loud noise ie; lorries passing, she has started covering her ears, if she is holding my hand at the time she tends to disappear behind my back away from the noise source and use one arm to try to cover both ears! I haven't seen her do this since she was about 12-18 months when I took her to singing at the library, I used to just think it looked rude that she refused to join in and stood with her hands over her ears whenever the singing started, inevitably I stopped taking her.
I noticed a few weeks ago that she was shutting her eyes when we were walking, she also did it on the second floor of a soft play area much to my horror. I have tried to catch her doing it (not always easy when pushing a buggy as well as looking where you're going) and notice what seems to prompt it. As would seem logical she is doing it when she doesn't want to see something or maybe doesn't want them to see her, for example when we walked past the bus stop and there were about 4 old people who were all smiling at her and looking in the buggy at Lucas.
As I've become more aware of my own reactions to feeling uncomfortable in situations I'm finding it easier to notice how she reacts, it's interesting that it's often at similar things though obviously I don't cover my ears or close my eyes!
It sounds silly but we are so used to her we often don't see somethings she does as unusual.
Shopping has always been a problem with Freya but now she's bigger it seems to me that she genuinely finds the whole process totally confusing. She found a lovely basket of pretend food in mothercare earlier and when we tried to leave without it we had half an hour of full out screaming and genuine sobbing. She kept saying "need my food, need my food" I tried to say it wasn't hers, we would go and get real food but she wasn't having any of it desperately pleading "please please have my food"
I don't want her to think she can have whatever she wants and sees but at the same time she never asks for just anything or everything, she's very specific about what she wants. Sometimes I think it would be worth paying for the items just to avoid the tantrum but I'm worried that will send the wrong message.
The more I study these events though the more I think she's not having a tantrum because she can't have something or do something she's having the tantrum because she doesn't understand why she can't have the basket of food or jump in the huge puddle which will make her wet and cold. I have tried all different angles to explain why and sometimes she gets it and sometimes not. I think she just sees shops as a huge place full of stuff for you to take what you want, and isn't that what they are?? The problem is trying to explain one we have to pay for the stuff or the policeman will come and be cross with us (she'd probably like a policeman to come!) and two that I don't want or can't afford half the stuff she'd like to take home.
We went from the pretend food incident to tesco where she found herself an umbrella and refused to give it up, she dutifully put it on the belt at the till and I had to concede she'd listened to me saying we had to pay for stuff before taking it! I just can't argue with her logic as I think so logically myself :/
I think we have both relaxed a lot about events when we're out, I was a real stickler for doing things right with my others who would never have got a pudding without finishing their dinner while Freya insisted on opening all of the food in her lunch bag and eating the sweets first.
Maybe it's because she eats all day so I knew eventually she would eat the sandwich, which she did, and I've stopped caring when people stare as she gets red sauce to go in her sandwiches.
I was very proud of myself for avoiding another screaming fit on the way out. My husband had told her to sit on the bench while I paid at the till but as she went to sit down I was done so he said "come on then back to the car" I tried to pick her up as she had thrown her shoes off earlier trying on ladies stilettos but she was just starting to scream and kick. I would usually have just carried her to the car yelling but instead I carried her to the bench and sat her down, she looked in her bag and listed the contents. I spoke to her very calmly and said "now can we go to the car", "yes she said, to the car", I continued "can I carry you because you've got no shoes on?" to which she stood up and wrapped her arms round my neck and legs round my waist with a big smile!
I could sense my husband was less than impressed but it had taken a second and was, in the end, quicker and less stressful than if I'd have insisted we went to the car the first time. As he put Lucas in the car he was still muttering "why does she have to make such a big deal of everything? it does my head in" I didn't say so but I was thinking, you have no idea how much it does her head in!
This week Freya has also learnt how to undo the freezer lock which is proving a nightmare to try and control her ice cream obsession, I will end up having to stock the freezer like it's summer all winter at this rate. Even with the ice creams she has to choose it, you may occasionally be able to help unwrap it but she must remove it from the packet or she just won't eat it, it will get flung on the floor and she will get another one!
The throwing has definitely become more of an issue lately, she has enjoyed flinging things for a while but now it's happening several times a day and can't be stopped until everything has been disposed of from the chosen shelf or cupboard. I guess because she's bigger and stronger now (and a better aim) I find it more worrying. She generally isn't throwing things at us, though she has started to enjoy hitting me and whacking me with things, it's normally just a flying exercise which I can't understand the purpose or fun of :/
My wardrobe is the latest victim of daily fun as she flings all the clothes out so she can swing on the rail!
I have emptied her room of everything but the bed and cot,  a few favourite soft toys and her bob the builder work bench. It seems to have stayed fairly tidy since then though I still sometimes find all the pictures have been pulled down. She found her waybaloo lamp in the clear out and is now insisting on having it on all day under the bed so it gives a nice glow all the way round her bed.
For some unknown reason she has decided that she would like to crawl to and from town now and then, this does push my buttons, it takes ages, naturally people can't help but stare at a crawling 3 year old on reins and she can't be talked out of the idea or pulled to a standing position :(
We have been waiting about 6 months now for an appointment from the speech therapist, I can usually make out what she's saying and somethings are very clear. She has good knowledge of words and tries to talk in sentences but it's still disjointed, more like mummy.....have.....ice cream than mummy have ice cream and her language is still pretty simplistic. She has become a lot louder in the last month or so :/
Yesterday presented a new problem for her red sauce obsession as she decided it would be fun to start flicking it around and painting it onto my pouffe with a brush. If that continues she won't be able to have red sauce and that will cause merry havoc at mealtimes as she still "needs" it with every meal even if it's a roast.
Legs seem to be the flavour of the week for rubbing food into, ice cream works especially well it seems.
That said some lady coming out of Morrison's yesterday took one look at her and loudly commented to her other half that she couldn't believe people took their kids out with shit all down them! I wanted to say it's hard enough to get this child dressed once a day and get her to keep her clothes on and if I changed her every time she dribbled something down herself I'd need a room full of clothes, but I didn't!
That reminds me that the dribbling is still an issue, when she's excited or crying and sometimes just at random.
We continue to have to watch umi zoomi for the majority of the day, I try not to mind as it is educational and I can see how she enjoys the numbers, shapes and patterns but I can also see that she hasn't so much learnt maths but rather remembered the answers from nearly every episode!
Potty training continues to evade her and she will fight you rather than agree to get the pooh cleaned up :(
All this said there have of course been some positive happy moments in the last week, she seems to have grasped that "i love you too" is the appropriate response to me saying "i love you" and is getting better at coming for cuddles, on her terms still of course.
I caught her chatting away to Lucas this morning when they woke up and she kept going back in when he grizzled when she left the room. She still hates him touching her or anything whether it's hers or his, but she comes and tells me now "oocus not very happy" when he's crying :)
As always, her general over excitement and happiness at the seemingly smallest things always makes me smile.