Ditching the dummy!

I've been aware for a while that Freya was getting too old in my opinion to still have her dummy.
We managed to get her down to just having it at night but when Lucas became more mobile his dummies starting getting lost so we'd get another one out and inevitably Freya would find the lost one and hide under a blanket or table with it in her mouth.
You can generally tell when she's up to something by the look on her face, the best hiding place to date is lying across the chairs while they're pushed under the table as mummy can only see you if she gets onto the floor!
It felt we were going backwards as she starting whining for the dummy every time she was tired and I admit sometimes I didn't have the energy to argue with her.
I was also very aware that one of her sensory needs involves mouthing things, so I was reluctant to take it away if it was going to cause her genuine distress and I couldn't think of a suitable replacement.
I've never bought that it affects their talking as all my kids had dummies and only 2 out of 6 had speech delay. Also we've all seen kids out with dummies in who just talk with them in.
I can't say why I decided one day I'd just had enough and I simply told her that at bedtime today we weren't having a dummy anymore because she was a big girl now. I've tried this before and it hasn't worked and she has mimicked more and more of Lucas's baby behaviour lately.
When she gets out of the bath she asks to be carried like a baby down the stairs and she goes round going goo goo gaa gaa which is nearly as annoying as the meowing!
Anyway, she was fairly tired on the ditching the dummy day and she went to sleep without making much fuss. I was expecting more fuss the next day but again she was very good and told me "not having dummy anymore cause I big girl" and when she got out of the bath she asked to be carried like a big girl.
I guess it doesn't seem like such a big deal but when you have a child who insists on the same things every day you kind of stop noticing how much you do to please them and you just automatically do the things they need, so when one changes it throws you a bit and being an over thinker myself I wonder why it's changed all of a sudden.
There was quite a fuss on the 3rd night and she even tried to pinched Lucas's dummy a few times but I'd prepared for that by only giving him one and putting the rest in my handbag on the coat hooks so she couldn't reach them.
It was easier to say no despite the fussing as she'd gone 2 nights without it and eventually she went off looking like she'd been slapped with a wet fish!
Happily since them she has only touched Lucas's dummy to give it to us or him and hasn't asked for hers again. Occasionally I can see her looking for it in bed when she gets up and it takes her a while to remember it's gone and she has said to me "I don't need dummy cause I'm a big girl" it's always with an enquiring tone like she's just checking that's still the case and I confirm yes that's right.
I've made a point of telling everyone in front of her that she's given up the dummy and I think she enjoys the praise she gets from them too.
So if like me you're thinking that dummy will never go it may just turn out to be easier than you thought, so keep trying :)
One of the biggest rewards is seeing more of that beautiful smile

Freya gets crafty....

In my effort to occupy Freya I bottled out of the paints and opted to start off with a white board.
My friend has one at her house and all the kids love it.
I got one that goes on the wall as we don't have a lot of space. I have to say she hasn't used it as much as I hoped she would. It's also driving me slightly mad that the pens seem to miss the huge board and go on the wall and then she just throws them on the floor without lids on. Also the board wipers don't actually clean the board. I end up scrubbing it every night with some cif :/
There has also been more being mean to Lucas about it and not letting him join in.

Since I love cake I tried to do some baking with her, this again is a real challenge for me as I can't stand the mess she makes and she insists on doing most of the mixing herself despite the fact she isn't strong enough to mix. She doesn't like taking turns with me anymore than anyone else. Coupled with the fact you've only got to turn your back for a second and she's doing something awful I'm amazed it turned out so well!

Making her own sandwiches is another thing I keep catching her doing. It's the same every time, 2 slices of bread, butter then jam, one on top of the other then cut into triangles, normally I get to to cut it but this time she tried to make her own triangles.

She asked to do some more baking so we made some chocolate buns, as usual as soon as I turned my back she'd stuck the bowl on her head!

Freya keeps busy

After giving Freya's sensory questionnaire to my autism nurse he told me that while I am hypersensitive (over sensitive) to pretty much everything, Freya is generally hyposensitive (under sensitive) to most things. This explains why she never sits still, why she pokes into everything and talks non stop with relentless questions :/ She is constantly seeking stimulation and she does that by licking things, jumping across the furniture, spinning herself round and round and making a mess with whatever she can get her hands on to name but a few habits.

If I'd been sceptical about this it was proved to me when I took her to town the other day and just by chance she had just opened a lolly as we left. She ate it all the way to Morrison's while holding my hand and walking nicer than I've ever seen. While we usually have a fit in the shop about having sweets I said to her "we're not getting sweets Freya as we have so many at home" and to my disbelief she said "OK mummy"!! She then had an ice cream on the way home and was just as lovely as on the way in.
It didn't occur to me until later that it was probably the licking that had kept her so calm.
I intend to try it again just to be sure of course

This morning I met Freya's new key worker at nursery and was explaining about her sensory needs and how she was better at nursery because she has constant stimulation. I had told this to another few people before it dawned on me that if I tried to provide more stimulation for her at home she might behave better!
This may seem to have been very obvious to others but it took me a while!

It is hard for me to contemplate arranging chaos as I need things to be organised, controlled and non messy for my own sanity :/

Therefore, thanks to the little patience my meds have given me in the last few weeks, (it's still very poor) I started slowly trying to get involved with a few games with her and getting her involved in some things that interest me.

She was very interested in the hedgehog house and was delighted to help put some food out in the hope of enticing our regular visitor to use our little home for his hibernation this year.

We bought a jumbo box of jigsaws from the charity shop for a whopping £1.99 :) She loves her puzzles and after you've helped her once she can usually do them from memory very quickly, the only issue being she thinks she has to do all of them every time :/

We played the shopping list game together which she loves, I find the organised set up of it very pleasing and she loves looking for food to put in her trolley, just like at the shops but cheaper!
She was distressed that a few cards were missing meaning we couldn't "buy" everything on our lists so I've ordered her a new one.

I am hoping to take inspiration from my niece once again and be brave and buy some paints and things for more messy play, I just hope my nerves will take it!

Christmas with Freya

Christmas is always hectic when you've got little people and expensive when you have teenagers so I was expecting to feel overwhelmed this year, I wasn't sure how Freya would react to the festive additions to the house, whether she would rip open everyone else's presents and had accepted she probably wouldn't join us at the table for Christmas dinner.

I was therefore pleasantly surprised at how well it all went.

She was ridiculously excited when the decorations came out but that was my bad organisation, it really would have been better to put them up when she was in bed.

I eventually managed to get the tree done and she and Lucas regularly re-did it for me until the bottom of the tree was rather bare!

She really loved her stocking which turned out to have to be her Ben and Holly bag as I couldn't find all the stockings! The present opening was manic and she kept asking for more and more not taking much notice of what she'd opened. However she didn't try and open anyone else's so that was good.

Amazingly she did sit at the table for most of the dinner and even put a hat on briefly before running off to play and even let Lucas share her new keyboard!