Y Spa Wyboston Lakes review

Mike and I went to Y Spa as our honeymoon night away, it was all we felt we could ask for given that my mum is 74 and Lucas and Freya are quite a handful without keeping an eye on the teenagers too!

My initial contact wasn't the best as my email to enquire about accessibility for Mike was never replied to and an internal email sent by reception for the reservation team to call me back to book us in was never responded to.

Despite this I decided to persevere as it did look lovely on the website and fond the staff answering the phones to be extremely helpful and knowledgeable.

We did the overnight hideaway on a Sunday evening for the very reasonable price of £69 each for accommodation, breakfast, lunch and dinner with a full days use of the spa facilities.
I can honestly say it's the first time I've relaxed in years and Mike commented he'd never seen me smile so much, just going to show if I could reduce my stress I would be a lot happier.

The stay was fantastic, we chose the day of the overnight to use the spa as I didn't think I'd relax if I knew I had to go back home later in the day. It was quite quiet and we pottered about enjoying the pool and steam rooms. We had 3 treatments booked in which was quite extravagant but we knew we wouldn't be getting the chance again.
We had a lovely joint appointment massage which was nice even though we weren't speaking as I didn't want to spend our honeymoon apart really. I've had a lot of massages over the years to try to ease the tension in my back and neck and I thought my therapist was very good indeed.

We then went for lunch in our robes which always feels a little weird, (I've only been to a spa once before I don't find it easy to spend time or money on myself), and the food was outstanding. It was a buffet style set up with a good choice of meats and veg/salad and puddings. We were stuffed after and didn't fancy jumping back in the pool so we headed for the quiet zone and I settled into a nice memory foam bed while Mike opted for the water bed.

We checked into our room at 3 and again were very pleased with the cleanliness and comfort.

Facials were next which I always neglect in favour of a massage but it was lovely and Mike commented I was glowing when I came back! OK he had a vested interest in being overly nice! After our facials we headed back into the spa for a few hours before dinner.

We got changed for dinner and headed off still not overly hungry after the lovely lunch earlier. The dinner was even better and we enjoyed a bit of people watching as well as the food :) dessert was included but I was so full I asked if I could take my back to the hotel room with me. I was told I could which turned out to be a smart move as room service of the same dessert involved a £5 service charge making for a very pricey slice of cheesecake!

The bed was big and very comfy and I enjoyed my first (and last) night of sleep since having Lucas!

We woke up to an equally impressive breakfast, Mike opting for the continental healthy stuff while I in true Yorkshire style went for the full English :)

We had our final treatment before we left which was a body scrub and steam followed by moisturiser and we went home feeling truly refreshed and spoilt :) I could not fault a thing about our stay. The staff were great, the food was fantastic, the spa and hotel were clean and the treatments and facilities were first rate.

So much did I enjoy it that we have come to an agreement that I will go to the spa one evening a month in an effort to try to de-stress. I would like to try another spa one day but for now I'm so happy at my closest one why change?!

Here's a few photos of us enjoying ourselves! :)

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed are my own, I was not asked to provide a review and did not receive anything for doing so.

Freya turns 3!

Sometimes I can't believe how big she is and other days I feel like she's been around forever, I can't imagine not having Freya now even though she drives me crazy on a daily basis!

The 3 milestone has seemed like a looming doom since we were told she was autistic for a couple of reasons. One, the doctor refused to officially diagnose her until she was 3 so we've spent the last year wondering if they could be wrong, where she will fall on the spectrum etc and two, because we were told they get worse at 3 and she was a handful enough already.

I've actually got to the point where if the doctor told me she felt she had misdiagnosed her I would argue that she was wrong, especially now I know I have Aspergers, she is way more loopy than I ever was! I had felt she would get the same diagnosis as me but now they're "doing away" with Aspergers she wouldn't anyway and as she does have some language delay I'm guessing she will fall under the high functioning autism label, probably with sensory impairment. Judgement day is next Monday so we will see if all my reading and observing has taught me anything about ASD :/

Given Freya's good progress at nursery I decided I wanted her to have a birthday party, she has seen many birthday parties on TV and seemed keen on the idea even if it came with a list of stipulations, balloons, a pig cake, a pink bike that dolly could ride in the back of etc

After a little research I decided a play centre would be the best idea, she could just run riot and it involves fairly little need for actual socialising.

I was distraught that not many of the children replied and in my usual manner took it personally. That said we ended up with 9 children and Freya came to meet most of them at the door to relieve them of their presents! It was a little sad that she ended up sat on her own at the table and showed me that even though the other kids seemed to like her she really is just a little loner. I don't think she's bothered about that at her age but I remember how it felt as a teenager feeling you were different and didn't quite gel with anyone and I worry for her.

She was very spoilt all in all, I had hired the place exclusively as I was worried she would get upset if there were kids running around she didn't know and she had a special cake made in the theme of her favourite programme, umi zoomi, also incorporating the requested balloons and a little pig in a muddy puddle. She received the pink bike with the doll seat that she'd been asking for for months.

Now she wants to know how many sleeps until she's 5 and can go to school!!

The emergence of the snail helper.....

A few months ago my husband was trying to get Freya to do something and after not much luck happened upon the idea of pretending his 2 fingers were a snail and in a little squeaky noise asked Freya again. She immediately looked at the "snail" and with a huge smile got on and did it!
Needless to say we were both a bit shocked as he had only been messing about to get her attention really.

It reminded me of the parents in "a friend like Henry" (also adapted into the film "about Thomas", though the book is miles better) who used their dog Henry's "voice" to ask their son to do things or get him to listen to them.

I can't explain why she listens to the snail or why a child with trouble expressing imagination believes that fingers are a snail! I have noticed if she's playing up in the car and we say "oh look Freya a cat" she stop and looks and says "oh a cat"?! It would appear she believes whatever you tell her but when I said your balloon is blue this morning she immediately corrected me saying "no, it's pink".

She has started to give snail a cuddle when he comes out and says "oh so cute" along with the words tiny and baby these have become key phrases we have noticed get her to be a bit gentle.

I mentioned snail to one of the workers at nursery and she has now enlisted snails help with Freya too :)

Post diagnosis feelings

I have done a lot of thinking in the last 2 days, not that that's anything new

My husband says I need to write my thoughts down so that when the man from the clinic comes to visit me I will remember what to ask.

Despite spending 2 hours talking I keep thinking of all the things I didn't mention, I don't know what difference I think it would have made.
I spent so long thinking how I would feel if they said I didn't have ASD and whether I'd then just be labelled psychotic and have my kids taken away that I didn't spend much time thinking how I'd feel if I did have it.

I thought I'd feel relieved as at last I'd have an answer to my problems over the years, and I do feel relieved but it's also opened up more questions and I find myself going over certain things that have happened to me and how I was dealt with as a non autistic person and how that affected me.

It's not so much that I want to make a list of times I feel I was treated unfairly but more that now I can see why things affected me the way they did. All of it just helps me understand myself better.

Since being a teenager I have felt that I didn't fit in, I found it hard to talk to people and when I did I usually got a negative response. Over the years I came to the assumption that it was my fault that people didn't seem to like me and I have punished myself mentally and physically for that many times. Despite feeling that way I was never able to actually say I think it's my fault as I genuinely thought other people were at fault for not being able to understand what I was trying to tell them.
It's only when I get so wound up I go into melt down that then I can see it's me, I can't make myself understood and that annoys people and in turn hurts and frustrates the hell out of me.

I keep saying I don't want or need any friends and I want to live in a house in the middle of a field somewhere remote where I don't have to interact with other human beings but my husband says I don't want that really. I find it very annoying when he tells me what I want or don't want but I will agree that on the whole I'm not an unsociable person, I'm happy to chat to most people but negative experiences have led me feel I'm better off just avoiding social interactions as I just mess them up and either end up upset and confused myself or upset someone else.
I suppose in a nut shell I feel I'm a burden to others and I over compensate for this by not asking for help when I need it, refusing to leave the children with my husband for an hour and take a break.

I do feel a bit sorry for myself, I feel let down by the people who should have noticed my difficulties and supported me and I can't help but think how much easier and happier my life could have been.

The doctor said I have adapted very well and I could easily fool even a professional into thinking I didn't have Aspergers. He said if he'd met me in the hall he wouldn't have picked it up as I come across as intelligent and I smile in the right places etc
I think he was trying to say you seem normal until you open your mouth :)

It was hard to remember how I behaved at any early age, I really don't recall much that far back.
I don't remember struggling at school until I got older and even then I put it down to bad explanations by teachers that I didn't know what they were asking of me and ultimately I got good grades. I was always aware that I would have got better grades though had the teacher had time to re explain to me on a 1-1 basis but at that age you don't want to be the only one putting your hand up saying I don't get it so I made do with bundling along in the subjects I found more challenging.

I had one teacher Mr. Loaf at my girls school who always took the time to come over and say "do you understand? and I'd tell him what I thought he wanted me to do and he'd say yes or no or re explain. He was wonderful and while I was taught by him my grades rocketed to third highest in the class and I regularly got full marks and A grades. We had to move away and after 4 years in a mixed school with kids who didn't want to learn and teachers that didn't have time to help I struggled to get my eventual C grade at GCSE.

It seems weird to me now that I did art because there's no logic in it, maybe I felt as there was no right or wrong I couldn't fail at it but again I got a grade I didn't feel I deserved, much of that was no doubt due to my taking everything literally which made it harder to think outside the box. I was still worried I was "doing it wrong". Most of my work was about myself which makes sense now as it seems most autistic people are only focused on themselves and what they want to do. I wonder if I'd have got a better grade if they'd have known I had Aspergers then and could have realised what a struggle it all was for me.

My biggest headache at the moment though is feeling that I shouldn't have had kids, yes I'm great at providing for their basic needs but I'm just useless at helping and supporting them emotionally, I don't know what they're thinking or feeling and honestly it's hard enough to process my own feelings and thoughts without taking on other peoples as well. I didn't know that I couldn't do that until the girls got older and were in school and I thought if I had more support, less stress that would change but it hasn't and now I know it won't.

I can't find anything on the web about advice for autistic parents and definately not how to manage your autistic child if you have ASD yourself :(

My head hurts..............

Finally I have my diagnosis....

It's felt like an awfully long wait and I guess you could say I've been waiting 36 years but finally after 2 hours talking to a doctor and 2 autism specialists I've been told I have Aspergers. The doctor asked me how I felt about it, honestly? I feel hugely relieved, now I can make sense of who I am.

Autism friendly film screenings

It was only a few months ago that I found out there were film screenings aimed at autistic people.
In fact they're for anyone who feels they would benefit from a more relaxed atmosphere while watching a film, maybe you want to take your toddler who asks questions all the way through or you don't like it totally dark or very loud, there are lots of people that would get benefit from this.

I had never dared take Freya to a regular screening as I wasn't sure how she would behave.
The first one we went to she started off very well behaved and I felt people were looking at me wondering why we needed to be there (they probably weren't at all) I was therefore kind of relieved when she started walking right up to the front of the screen and spinning around on the spot. She then climbed across all the chairs in the front row and threw her shoes and socks off. Needless to say no one batted an eye at her.
It was such a huge weight off my shoulders, she loves films and we need to be able to take Lucas too and now we can do it in a relaxed environment.

We went to see "planes" at the weekend and as usual there were only about 5 families in the whole room.
We were adopted by a young lad who sat next to my husband and asked him questions throughout the film.
His parents tried to get him to be quiet but he wasn't bothering us, he was very sweet and funny. He was pre-occupied with thoughts of going to Disney and even recited the advert about Disney being a magical place where all your dreams came true!
My husband gets sick of me going on about going back to Disney and has come up with the theory that maybe all autistic people love Disney as we all live in a self absorbed unrealistic world?! I wonder if that's true!

It was interesting to watch Freya interacting with a boy of about 8, he decided to copy her rolling on the floor and after that she followed him about sitting nearly on top of the poor boy on the stairs and copying him lying down with his feet on the steps. I wasn't sure what he thought about it as she was majorly invading his personal space but he didn't seem to notice and if he did was very tolerant of her.

She never sits and watches the whole film but I know if we tried to leave early she would do her nut, she seems to still be listening and taking it in as she's dashing about the place.

We nearly had an incident on leaving as I had told her next time we would watch the film with a snail and she obviously thought it was straight after as she said "now watch snail", fortunately there was a model of the snail in the foyer and she was content to sit on this.

I don't think these screenings are advertised well enough as you can't buy the tickets until the    Wednesday before the showing, they are not advertised at the cinema or on their websites until that Wednesday.                                                                                                                

If anyone would like to find out more you can look on autism Bedfordshire which has the link to dimensions who run the screenings all over the UK at 3 different cinema chains. It would be awful if they stopped showing them due to lack of numbers so don't be put off, go along and give them a go :)