I've never posted much about my other children on here but I do have 5 others besides Freya and they all come with their own set of challenges, this week I found out my 17 year old has borderline personality disorder.
We've known for a while that something wasn't quite right with her but between teenagers hiding things as they do and my own oblivion to others problems I guess it's maybe no surprise that it's taken this long to get to this point.
After being referred to the camh crisis team last year she was seen by a psychiatrist who decided she had attachment disorder which we never felt fitted her at all and she refused to go back and see him again, she was then passed about various people before they just dropped her and all support stopped.
They seemed a little surprised when we had an incident with Freya ending up in hospital after getting hold of some medicines (which has led to months of them investigating me?!) that Chloe was still having issues, maybe they thought it was just a phase?
I was aware that her mood had been low and her self esteem wasn't great but I'd felt she had started exhibiting more and more signs of Aspergers and I insisted she was referred to my psychiatrist at the adult autism clinic.
She had an extensive assessment with 3 psychiatrists and they concluded that while she does display some symptoms which could be conceived as autism, the drivers for her behaviour are very different from those of someone with ASD, for example while I am often oblivious of or confused by my emotions Chloe is very in touch with hers and feels things much more than your average person.
I didn't know much about the condition but remembered watching a documentary on mental health on tv where a guy with personality disorder kept trying to commit suicide.
The drs seemed quite concerned that she get treatment asap for this reason, apparently they don't need something bad to happen to feel suicidal like most of us would
I think I'm still digesting it all really, I keep thinking back to when she was small to see if I missed something and I feel like I've neglected her in some way, she was largely a happy child and probably the one I worried least about as she always just got on with life.
We've had some difficult times with her for the last few years and I've really struggled to understand her behaviour even in terms of the "normal teenage things" and it has seemed like the only option was going to be to have her move out but I do feel now that I want to try and support her through her therapy and hope that we can both learn more about this condition and how I can help her feel more secure and able to ask for help when she needs it.
I would love to hear from anyone who has been through this either themselves or with their child, I feel a bit lost at sea at the moment :/
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